Vegas….
See you all in Vegas!! We’re on our way..
Gleukos All-Natural Sport Drink
If you run long distance and need something to refuel don’t drink this unless it’s the last drink available. It’s disgusting, don’t buy it and don’t drink it. I almost just barfed. Thank you.
More conversations on guys being dicks…
Read first post here
Imerika: So…you can tell when a guy likes you if he’s going out of his way to do nice things for you. But a girl can do nice things for a guy too…but…not too often. right?
Yes.
Imerika: But how do you know when he’s a genuine nice guy or just a bonafide player? I saw your friend…he looks like a nice guy but I think he just wants to get laid.
Who?
Imerika: Jiu Jitsu Guy.
Oh…yeah.
Imerika: So how do us girls, that want a guy to be committed, watch out for guys like that?
Don’t give it up on the first date–Number One Rule! Nor the second date, nor the third…maybe the fourth.
Imerika: When did I give it up?
Like a month in of dating. You did well. You kept me going.
Imerika: What else? What other signs should we look out for?
If you go out on a weekend night, and he leaves early with the excuse that he’s going home…that’s a sign he’s planned another date or he’s going out with the guys to look for more girls.
Or if he never offers to pay for dinner. I said once “Oh you wanna get this one and I’ll get the next one?” and I had no intention of going out with her a second time…
The first date the guy should always pay. And then after that, the girl should always offer to pay at least half.
Imerika: What’s a total turn-off? What are signs that will for sure make you not want to date a girl again?
If you were rude to a waiter or a host person at a restaurant. You talk too much about yourself. You’re not a generally healthy person, like you don’t take care of your body.
Imerika: How can you tell when a guy is ready to settle down?
When he meets the right girl. He knows…
How to tell when a guy likes you or when he’s just being a dick
(via speech as told to Imerika)
Well, there are a lot of different ways to tell if a guy actually likes you or he’s just being a dick. There are times when guys won’t call you back on purpose and that can come off as being a dick but he could like you.
Imerika: So when do you know if he likes you or if he’s just being a dick?
So he’s calling you, says he wants to hang out with you, flirts with you on the phone but he never hangs out with you. THAT’s when he’s being a dick. He’s playing you.
Imerika: So have you ever played any girls?
Of course.
Imerika: Like?
There was a girl in one of my college classes. And she was cute. But she was too vulnerable, so I didn’t really want anything to do with her, BUT I didn’t want her to like any other guys.
Imerika: Why not? If you didn’t want her, why couldn’t anyone else have her?
I think it’s just the guy being caveman-like.
Imerika: What about her made her vulnerable? What’s wrong with vulnerable?
She was just too easy. She made it too easy. She was always there. Anytime that I actually wanted to hang out with her or call her, she’d be there. Every second of the day I could call and she would answer. I took her out once and nothing happened. But, deep down inside I kinda liked her a little bit, but I didn’t want to do anything with her, but I didn’t want anyone else to have her.
Imerika: That doesn’t make sense!!
It’s just the guy being territorial. It makes the guy feel better I think.
Imerika: Ok, so back to the original question. What other instances are there when guys like girls or when they’re just playing us?
A guy likes a girl when he’ll drop anything to be with her. Not necessarily all the time, because you still have to play the game, but when he goes out of his way to be with you. 90% of the time that means he likes you. For example, bringing you a cup of coffee or bringing you your favorite beverage without even you asking.
Imerika: Do you think the guy should always come to the girl?
No. A girl should put herself out there but not too much.
Imerika: What’s too much?
It would be a two-for-one. Guy does two displays of affection and girls do one. The guy should do more than the girl.
To be continued….
Technology addiction and your relationship
This last Friday, I think I made a great decision. I got rid of my iPhone and went back to a cheap simple Nokia phone that can only call and text. I have had some kind of smart phone/pda for the last 8 years and I never thought I would go back to a simple phone. I never really sat back and thought about not having a smart phone. I really think my world revolved around the phone. A simple tool turned into almost a silent addiction and I think most of us don’t realize how a smart phone can take over our lives.
Lately, actually every weekend, I stay with Miss. Refreshingly Honest. Our schedules are somewhat hectic during the week and we try to spend as much time together as we can during the weekend. In the morning, the first thing I did before kissing her on the cheek, wrapping her up in my arms, and spooning her until we both are fully awake was grab my iPhone. The morning routine with my iPhone before arousing my girlfriend to wake up for our morning run and pastry binge was check my emails, read the USA Today and NY Times Headlines, check my workout schedule for the day, and how much money we spent the night before.
Throughout the day, I would be driving and checking my phone periodically. “You’re going to hit and kill someone and when you go to jail, I’ll leave you!” Miss. Refreshingly Honest said this numerous times she said it somewhat jokingly but I knew she was serious. We would be out at the bar and I would have my phone out on the bar top and would occasionally check it to make sure none of my friends had texted or sent me an email. I didn’t even think about it, it was habit. I was so used to using a smart phone for so many years and always having the constant need to respond to anything that came my way.
Now that it’s gone, I love it. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. This weekend, the first thing I did when I woke up was kiss my girlfriend and tell her how much she means to me. We woke up early and drove around, got coffee, freshly sliced bacon, vegtables, milk, and a few other little things. I made her a complete breakfast with scrambled eggs and veggies, bacon, and banana pancakes ALL without checking my phone. We went to church together today and I didn’t look at my phone. We went to the bookstore and I didn’t check my phone. We went out on a party bus the day before and went to a ton of bars for the organziation she volunteers for, we also went to her parents house, and I never checked my phone. She had my undivided attention and I loved it (I think she loved it too) and I felt much more attentive to her needs and everyone else around us.
Pros
1. Taking technology out of the bedroom is a great idea.
2. I feel less stressed because I’m not constantly worried about checking my emails, texts, and websites.
3. I won’t hit a bicyclist or runner while driving.
4. I listen better.
and….
5. My cell phone bill is a hell of a lot cheaper!
Cons (so far)
1. No Pandora Radio at the gym.
2. No google maps to check the traffic.
but the Pros > Cons.
Running, Charity, and … a picture?
This last Saturday, I ran in the Hope and Harmony 5k and was accompanied by the wonderful Miss. Refreshingly Honest. I even let her pin on my bib, it was a great experience to watch her with safety pins. I also placed in the race and won an award. I really enjoy running, although sometimes I have to force myself to go out and hit the streets but in the end I’m always glad I did it. Again, I was blessed to have my lady there to support me (It was windy, pouring rain, and cold), I really didn’t expect her to come in the rain, and it really meant a lot to me, more than I think she realizes.
Here’s a picture of us before I started warming up for the race.
She’s gorgeous huh? I’m lucky and I’m still amazed of what we have become.
I enjoy running in races that are for charities because I believe they really benefit people. I have literally seen a friend of mine go through hell for the last four years fighting stage four cancer at 29 years old and he is still fighting for his life. He’s a trooper, I’m always thinking about him, and I’m just inspired by his will to live. It makes me ponder what I’m really meant to do in life. What if that were me, thinking about whether or not I’m going to wake the next morning, and I had to look back on my life wishing there were things I would have or had not done. It’s scary.
Hopefully, whoever reads this is out there do something for a charity or a cause you believe in. I think that there are a lot of people who are really absent minded and sheltered to everything and don’t do anything about it until it’s too late and you or someone you know is suffering.
Yearning for her
Two nights ago, I was in Imerika’s kitchen sitting on the counter. She was wearing my sweatshirt, giving me little glances out of the corner of her eye, giving me a kiss here and there, and all the while cooking herself a meal. I stare at the ground and ponder my future decisions.
It’s something I have wanted to do for a long time, it’s my time to do it now, the thing is, it’s a special unit. She knows about the program, I gave her some of the information, I told her I would giver her 100% of the information the entire way. I have been taking physical tests and mental tests just to earn a contract for a tryout, which I started the process well before we even had been talking. If I go, I will succeed, and it would be one of the greatest accomplishments I have ever achieved. There is nothing funny about it, it’s a very serious and high risk position.
I look back up at her and I realize I have never felt like this for a woman in my entire life. Even Asian girl, the girl I almost got engaged to.
I had no intentions of dating her and I’m still slapping my face at why I emailed her. I just thought she seemed neat and I wanted to extend friendship and hell the walls came crushing in. We met for coffee, I thought she was cute, smart, funny, we went out again, and I was smitten. I still was hard as a rock forcing myself not to let her break me down. I was avoiding her texts like the plague and I was trying to force myself not to give into her.
But here I am just watching her cook, watching the woman who I could really wake up next to and have insane conversations with in bed, drink coffee, and read the newspaper every morning for the rest of my life.
She looks over at me and asks me what’s on my mind. I tell her while she has her head nuzzled between my neck and shoulder. She looks up at me and I can see in her eyes that she gets upset when I talk about leaving. But in my eyes I’m doing it for her and I want to do it for everyone else who walks up and down the streets and even reads our blogs in the US.
If I go and if my time is to come up short and my picture appears somewhere in a headline, I did it for something I believe in, and for someone who I love. I’m not afraid of that. The only thing I’m afraid of is being 35,000 ft up in the air, kissing a picture of her and telling the picture I love you, tucking it back into the plastic pouch with the “Just in case letter” right before I jump for my next objective but I’m ready.
I want her to be my girl waiting for me to get back from deployment. I want her to be the girl waiting for my calls. I want her to be the girl I talk to on video chat. I want her to be the girl that saves all the handwritten letters in a box and when I’m old and pass, our children can read them and know how I felt about her. I want her to be the girl I take pictures with in my uniform. I want her lips to be the last lips I kiss if something were to happen…
We move to the couch and cuddle up with one another like puzzle pieces that were meant to be together. She bombards me with compatibility questions and we pretty much match each other hand in hand in the answers we want.
I stay up way past my bed time and go home. I get up for work at 2:30am. I only ended up getting 3 hours of sleep. Since I met her I have had an empty pit in my stomach when I’m not around her and it hurts. This is what I’m facing, constantly. While driving to work in the morning, the whole way there, I can’t stop thinking about her. I stop to get coffee and over fill my cup thinking of her. I get to work and try to focus on the tasks I need to get done and a coworker tells me I have been staring at a piece of paper for a few minutes and haven’t moved. I flinch and realize it’s her on my mind again.
She’s the one I want to ride on this roller coaster with. I haven’t wanted anything so bad in my entire life.
Written with a few tears,
-Betterment of Man
A night out with the gay guys
So from my post last Wednesday you found out that yes.. I have a heart and boy’s get hurt.
The next weekend, after the breakup, I was still extremely upset, and I was bartending at the restaurant. I managed to spill an entire glass of wine on a patron sitting at the bar who happened to be maybe one of the biggest venture capitalists in the bay area. He was a regular of mine and he knew something was wrong. He didn’t seem mad but he left. Half an hour later, he returned with a new wine free shirt. He asked me what was wrong and I told him the story. He gave me some great advice and really lifted my spirits. He also left me a $100 tip and told me to go out tonight and have a great time.
At the restaurant there were two bartenders and eight servers. Four out of ten were gay men. All the gay men heard about my story and wanted to take me out to get my mind off her. I agreed and Restaurant Guy was going to join us as well. Two straight men and four gay men, FUN. After the restaurant closed up, we all had a few drinks from our restaurant bar to get loose.
The gay men decided to take Restaurant Guy and I for a night on the town. I had helped hire bartenders for a gay bar that opened across the street from the restaurant I worked at. (A lot of straight men are afraid of gay bars. DO NOT BE! There are actually a lot of straight girls that go to gay bars and night clubs.) We went there first and were given a plethora of shots, mixed drinks, and beers to start the evening for free and only had to leave gratuity. I was pretty trashed by the time we left there and we decided we were going to go to a gay nightclub.
It was about a mile walk to get to the club. I remember arriving and walking in and thinking this place was pretty cool. Lots of flashing lights, deep bass, a cool oak bar, pretty ladies everywhere (some kissing each other), dudes everywhere (some kissing each other), and whole lot of dancing (which I love). We got more drinks and went upstairs to the fire place room with a different DJ to hang out and dance. My friend Croatian girl showed up to hang out with us. I was beginning to lose thought of Asian girl. Croatian girl was dancing with me and I was feeling like “Hey, women love me, screw Asian girl”. Croatian girl went over and danced with some of the gay guys we were with and I danced away my pains.
The night got a little more wild and I was dancing like I’ve never danced before and I feel some hands grab my waist from behind. At first, I was thinking, “FUCK YA, these ladies LOVE me….” then it clicked, I was drunk, I was at a gay bar, and I looked down. I’m a pretty big guy and there were these big black hands, bigger than my hands, and they were wrapped around my waist. I almost shit my pants. I turned around and shook my head saying no sir, you are not getting any of this straight ass. He laughed, introduced himself, and I introduced him to my gay friends. He ended up hanging out with us for the remainder of the evening and BUYING me a drink.
Gay men love me. It’s funny and I take it as a compliment.
Ya, I had my heart ripped out by a girl… once
The story of Asian girl. We spent four plus years together. We’re going to find out how I was crushed, spat, and shat on and how I dealt with it.
It was intersession during one of the semesters I was at Junior College and I decided to take a Business Law class. I was hoping to have someone interesting to sit next to. Class was about to start and the teacher was prepping her materials and a gorgeous Asian girl comes over and sits down next to me. I didn’t talk to her once the entire semester-until the last day. The one time in my life I turn into a giant pussy.
After talking to her a bit, I found out that she was kind of seeing someone but we still exchanged numbers. We kept casual contact through phone and email. We finally decided to meet up. We went to a local pool hall and bar and she came with her crew and I had mine. Little did I know that she broke it off with the other guy to pursue me. After that night, we ended up starting to hang out a lot and like clockwork, we end up dating.
She was great in bed and we tried everything imaginable. There was no boundaries when it came to sex with her. This is where I really mastered the art of going down on a woman. She wanted me to be a professional at going down and hell, I was the perfect student. I love going down on women. I love looking up at that face while I am going down, their head arched back, and their hands ripping at the sheets. Going down is such a turn on for me, I could do it all damn day.
We both finished at the same junior college and transferred to a University in Northern California and moved in together. I was like holy shit, this is it. I figured it’s just time until we get engaged.
I did everything for her, I worked 3 jobs during college, I was a bartender, hockey ref, and also did some computer programming in an office, and paid all our rent. I thought we were going to get married, I didn’t care.
Then after a year and a half of living together, she had more things going on at school and wasn’t able to come home as early as she usually did every night. One day, she left her email open on the house computer. What is a guy to do, but look, and low and behold the very first email I found was that she went out for dinner and drinks with this guy the night before and there were a few emails exchanged throughout the day saying I had such a great time with you and I can’t wait to see you again and yes, that they had kissed! I was LIVID. When she came home that Friday evening, I didn’t say anything. We were supposed to go to a party that night at a friends and I didn’t want to ruin it for them.
At the party and after a few drinks-err A LOT of drinks. I confronted her in the restroom and she said that she didn’t know about us anymore and I said well I don’t know that much about you anymore. I yelled at her for awhile questioning everything we had done to this point and I left saying “Fuck You” and made a nine mile walk all the way back to my apartment.
I had never felt so crushed in my life. I remember it was about 40 degrees out and I had a shirt and jeans on and I didn’t stop crying the whole way home. I threw my phone against a wall, it shattered into a million pieces and I put my head down and kept walking. She stayed with her friend that night and I remember when I finally got home around four in the morning, I turned on the shower, stripped myself of all my clothes, sat in the tub cross legged for more than an hour wailing and sobbing. My neighbors, who were also my friends had been at the party. They had been out driving the streets looking for me all night. The landlord gave them a key to open my door. My friend “The Italian” helped me out of the bathtub, I could barely breathe, or talk.
I was so hurt. I slept on a few of my friends couches for the next month. I was contemplating what to do now until I could get all my belongings out of my apartment without having to see her.
This played a major impact in my life with trusting girls and while I am extremely confident, I have a hard time giving 100% of my heart away to anyone anymore. I now decide what is best for myself before anyone and I do hate it. I still look at it as the hardest time in my life. I’m sure I will touch on this subject more as I write posts.
During my grieving process, I lived near the Santa Cruz mountains and for the next four months after we seperated, I spent a lot of time hiking and trail running. I hiked/ran 6-10 miles daily and even did the skyline to sea trail, a 64 mile round trip a handful of times solo. I wrote in a journal for once in my life and I still have it, and periodically look at it to see how happy I am now, compared to then. I really searched for my soul during that time.
Yes, boys can get hurt just like girls.
P.S. I’m a rock.
Next post will be on Friday.
