Home > Asian Girl, Broken Heart, Women > Ya, I had my heart ripped out by a girl… once

Ya, I had my heart ripped out by a girl… once

The story of Asian girl. We spent four plus years together. We’re going to find out how I was crushed, spat, and shat on and how I dealt with it.

It was intersession during one of the semesters I was at Junior College and I decided to take a Business Law class. I was hoping to have someone interesting to sit next to. Class was about to start and the teacher was prepping her materials and a gorgeous Asian girl comes over and sits down next to me. I didn’t talk to her once the entire semester-until the last day. The one time in my life I turn into a giant pussy.

After talking to her a bit, I found out that she was kind of seeing someone but we still exchanged numbers. We kept casual contact through phone and email. We finally decided to meet up. We went to a local pool hall and bar and she came with her crew and I had mine. Little did I know that she broke it off with the other guy to pursue me. After that night, we ended up starting to hang out a lot and like clockwork, we end up dating.

She was great in bed and we tried everything imaginable. There was no boundaries when it came to sex with her. This is where I really mastered the art of going down on a woman. She wanted me to be a professional at going down and hell, I was the perfect student. I love going down on women. I love looking up at that face while I am going down, their head arched back, and their hands ripping at the sheets. Going down is such a turn on for me, I could do it all damn day.

We both finished at the same junior college and transferred to a University in Northern California and moved in together. I was like holy shit, this is it. I figured it’s just time until we get engaged.

I did everything for her, I worked 3 jobs during college, I was a bartender, hockey ref, and also did some computer programming in an office, and paid all our rent. I thought we were going to get married, I didn’t care.

Then after a year and a half of living together, she had more things going on at school and wasn’t able to come home as early as she usually did every night. One day, she left her email open on the house computer. What is a guy to do, but look, and low and behold the very first email I found was that she went out for dinner and drinks with this guy the night before and there were a few emails exchanged throughout the day saying I had such a great time with you and I can’t wait to see you again and yes, that they had kissed! I was LIVID. When she came home that Friday evening, I didn’t say anything. We were supposed to go to a party that night at a friends and I didn’t want to ruin it for them.

At the party and after a few drinks-err A LOT of drinks. I confronted her in the restroom and she said that she didn’t know about us anymore and I said well I don’t know that much about you anymore. I yelled at her for awhile questioning everything we had done to this point and I left saying “Fuck You” and made a nine mile walk all the way back to my apartment.

I had never felt so crushed in my life. I remember it was about 40 degrees out and I had a shirt and jeans on and I didn’t stop crying the whole way home. I threw my phone against a wall, it shattered into a million pieces and I put my head down and kept walking. She stayed with her friend that night and I remember when I finally got home around four in the morning, I turned on the shower, stripped myself of all my clothes, sat in the tub cross legged for more than an hour wailing and sobbing. My neighbors, who were also my friends had been at the party. They had been out driving the streets looking for me all night. The landlord gave them a key to open my door. My friend “The Italian” helped me out of the bathtub, I could barely breathe, or talk.

I was so hurt. I slept on a few of my friends couches for the next month. I was contemplating what to do now until I could get all my belongings out of my apartment without having to see her.

This played a major impact in my life with trusting girls and while I am extremely confident, I have a hard time giving 100% of my heart away to anyone anymore. I now decide what is best for myself before anyone and I do hate it. I still look at it as the hardest time in my life. I’m sure I will touch on this subject more as I write posts.

During my grieving process, I lived near the Santa Cruz mountains and for the next four months after we seperated, I spent a lot of time hiking and trail running. I hiked/ran 6-10 miles daily and even did the skyline to sea trail, a 64 mile round trip a handful of times solo. I wrote in a journal for once in my life and I still have it, and periodically look at it to see how happy I am now, compared to then. I really searched for my soul during that time.

Yes, boys can get hurt just like girls.

P.S. I’m a rock.

Next post will be on Friday.

Categories: Asian Girl, Broken Heart, Women
  1. February 17, 2010 at 6:23 pm

    This is almost word for word what happened with me and The Exx. It’s hell, there’s just no other way to put it.

  2. February 17, 2010 at 7:05 pm

    Hi! I’ve been a follower of Erika for awhile now and I loved your guest post so I am very happy to see you have your own blog again, congrats!

    Wow, this story is heartbreaking. I can relate as I went through a similarly hard breakup with my college boyfriend of 4 years a few years ago. It just plain sucks and I don’t think you will ever be as low in your life as you are when you lose your first love, especially in such a heart-wrenching way. Thank goodness you have such an awesome lady now! 😉

    • February 21, 2010 at 12:43 pm

      It was rough. I learned a lot through it though. The worst is that when you break up with someone that you have been with for that long; you have so much extra free time. When you have that extra free time, it can drive you nuts. That’s where running helped me.

      • asiansarepatheticslaves
        December 9, 2010 at 7:44 pm

        wow, you asians are even more pathetic than I thought. This was obviously written by an asian girl who’s shitty that white guys don’t want her because she has maggots crawling out of her gaping, Herpes infested vagina. White guys don’t want their babies to have puffy eyes, weird orange skin and boring hair. They would rather have a baby with beautiful, delicate looking skin, wide, adorable, curious eyes, and soft hair. Your miserable asian plan to breed with whites is working in countries containing stupid people like canada, but America is too smart for you. Sorry asians

  3. February 17, 2010 at 7:35 pm

    God that sucks. I’ve been hurt like that…not cheated on…but lied to. It’s amazing how that kind of pain makes your insides feel raw. You truly do come out a stronger person though…that’s the silver lining.

  4. February 17, 2010 at 8:19 pm

    I bet you are a rock, especially after going through that. Erika’s kinda a rock too, or so it seems from reading her blog. I think torturous break-ups have a way of making people just… SOLID. Like Akirah said, they make you a stronger person.

  5. jen
    February 17, 2010 at 9:17 pm

    Seriously, girls always make themselves out to be the hard-done-by ones…but we can really suck too sometimes!! When you find the right one you’ll start to trust again!

    • February 21, 2010 at 12:45 pm

      YES!!! Women can suck sometimes! I think with times changing more women will be ripping out male hearts.

  6. February 17, 2010 at 10:50 pm

    Difficult break-ups shape us and make us who we really are, that’s for sure. It’s nice to get a guy’s perspective on them for once, especially because I know women who do shitty things to men – usually you just hear the opposite. Trust, well, that’s another issue. I think with each painful break-up, it becomes harder to trust anyone at all. Now that’s the shitty part 😦

    • February 21, 2010 at 12:52 pm

      My trust is coming back, it’s hard to give someone your heart completely again because you just have that little spot in the back of your head saying “Are you going to get punched in the stomach again?”

      “It’s nice to get a guy’s perspective on them for once…” When I wrote this, I was thinking you know I’ve never really seen a guy write about his heart break. It was a little hard bringing back those memories. I tried to flush that night I walked home down my mental toilet. I think the male persona does not want to admit defeat.

  7. February 18, 2010 at 2:46 am

    My heart goes out to you, I have been cheated on in excess. But Citygal is right, difficult breakups do shape us and make us who we really are. Life is all about love and human interaction. Breakups teach us what kind of interaction we will not be willing to tolerate.

  8. February 20, 2010 at 2:23 am

    This really broke my heart. I can’t imagine why anyone would want to cheat on anyone else. It’s the worst thing you could possibly do to a human being.

    I hope you fall in love soon. And this time for real. With some one who loves you right back. Not an ugly slut like the bitch who cheated on you.

    I’m sorry for all the abusive words but I absolutely HATE people who cheat on those who love them.

  9. February 20, 2010 at 7:41 am

    ahhh this makes my heart hurt 😦

  10. February 25, 2010 at 9:10 am

    This is horrible. I can completely 100% feel your pain. I tend to put my trust into someone at the beginning of a relationship regardless of what happened in my past relationships… and so far it’s gotten me screwed over a number of times.

    My first long term bf (like you and AG, I was with this person for about 4 years) cheated on me within 3 months “Just to see if he could.” He admitted it to me, so I kept him around – only to have him dump me on NYE 4 years later because we’d hit a bump in the road and things had gotten a little tough and despite him telling me on Christmas day that he couldn’t wait to be with me for the rest of my life, he decided that he’d rather jump ship instead. And then start dating someone 6 weeks later (who he is now marrying… awesome – and on their wedding webpage it said that they’d noticed each other for 2 years before they finally started dating – why am I not surprised?)

    Then the next guy I dated seriously, I really thought “this is it” and I moved in with him. And my situation ended up much like yours did. One night we stayed up late listening to music and each of us playing games and videos on our respective laptops. I was in our bed and he was at his desk (incidentally the bed faced the screen of his laptop) and I fell asleep for a short time. I woke up and sat up in the bed and I could see him on his computer with his back to me.

    I wasn’t totally sure what I saw, but I knew that I didn’t believe it. To me it looked like he was typing emails on a dating site…. but I knew that it just couldn’t be true, there had to be some other explanation, because I 100% trusted him and he, just like my previous ex, had just recently been talking to me about marriage and kids etc…

    So I stayed quiet and when he got up to use the bathroom, I pretended to be asleep. He closed out of IE and left the room. So I went on his computer, checked the history and saw that he’d been on “Plentyoffish.com” aka, a dating site. I opened the site and saw what he’d been sending: messages to women in our geographic area saying things like “You’re so hot. Are you into white guys?” “I’d like to F* you” etc.

    I closed out of the site and went back to the bed. He came back in and I confronted him. I told him I’d just seen over his shoulder and asked what he’d been typing. He lied told me that he was just looking for friends in the area since we’d just moved there and we didn’t know many people.

    I asked him, “So you told them you have a girlfriend?” He said yes. “So you weren’t trying to meet girls to meet on this dating site?” He lied again and said no, and that it wasn’t a dating site. “So, why don’t you just show me if you weren’t doing anything?” He told me because it would violate his privacy. “Well, then why don’t I just check your history. If what you say is true, then it shouldn’t be a problem.” I sat down at his computer and went to open IE – he yanked the cord from the wall. “Well I don’t understand. Why won’t you just let me see it if you are telling me the truth?” He swore up and down that he didn’t do anything, so I dropped the bomb on him – “I already know what you wrote in those emails. I know you were looking to hook up. I read them.”

    He broke down crying. Funny, but I didn’t feel all that sorry for him.

    So yeah, I definitely know what you were experiencing when you read those emails. That kick in the gut, sick, vomity, heat rising up your neck and ears feeling. I’m so sorry that you ever had to experience that. It seems like you have found a good one with Erika – I actually got to your blog via hers, and I love the story of how you guys met. I’m definitely hoping for the best for you two!

    • Kiyone
      April 12, 2010 at 12:37 pm

      Plenty of Fish is full of ass holes. Sty away.

  11. clambo slice
    April 13, 2010 at 11:32 am

    Sad story, women can be fickle and change their minds. This also happened to me. What I have learned is to be careful spending my money on a woman. Then, I don’t have to feel too bad that I “invested” real amounts of money on a relationship that she ended. Mine was a real Chinese doll, sweet, kind and sexy. We dated when she was separated. When she finally got a few bucks from her divorce, she bought a small business and made her own money. She broke up with me on skype a few days after my mother died whom I lived with for months before she finally passed on. I was devastated. She told me that I was upset only because I considered her “safe”. Later she believed I loved her but said “We have to face reality. I want a family and you don’t.” She said I would need to move near her new business, buy a house and find work, etc. while I was still shell-shocked over my loss. Later, she wanted to keep a sexual relationship with me while dating a new guy who lived in her town and wanted a family right away. She wanted her cake and eat it too and I said it was no good. “Am I bad?” she asked. “You tell me.” She got a secret new cell phone and asked me to call that. I refused. Anyway, my only comfort now is that she’s 40 and this guy probably has no idea how expensive and difficult it will be to have a baby. She never mentioned wanting kids to me when we were a couple, only when she broke up. She’d email and text me that “maybe I will come back to you” and “I know I am being stubborn. Maybe things will change.” She asked me to go to stay with her in China when she goes to visit her parents. “So, I can’t drive 40 minutes to see you now, but I can fly 14 hours to see you in China?” I’m going to travel for work for a bit and also visit friends to try to get her out of my mind.

  12. asiansarepatheticslaves
    December 9, 2010 at 7:39 pm

    wow, you asians are even more pathetic than I thought. This was obviously written by an asian girl who’s shitty that white guys don’t want her because she has maggots crawling out of her gaping, Herpes infested vagina. White guys don’t want their babies to have puffy eyes, weird orange skin and boring hair. They would rather have a baby with beautiful, delicate looking skin, wide, adorable, curious eyes, and soft hair. Your miserable asian plan to breed with whites is working in countries containing stupid people like canada, but America is too smart for you. Sorry asians.

    • Ugh
      October 2, 2013 at 8:19 pm

      The only thing maggots are crawling out of is your twisted, racist worldview.

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  1. February 22, 2010 at 7:04 am
  2. February 24, 2010 at 12:03 am

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